


No One Can Save Me, The Damage Is Done

by RogerTaylorsCar



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-08 03:04:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogerTaylorsCar/pseuds/RogerTaylorsCar
Summary: Roger has been in love with his best friend for six years - but then Brian gets married...





	No One Can Save Me, The Damage Is Done

**Author's Note:**

> So this is based on an ask I sent to @bohemian-rhapsody-slash on Tumblr. Hope you guys like it!

_How long had it been since he'd fallen in love with him?_

The moment Roger realized he had a crush on his best friend was the night of one of the first Smile gigs he played. He had just joined Brian's band a few weeks prior. Tim had gone home early to study, leaving the two alone in the back of their van. Contrary to the lanky nerd with badly straightened hair he had previously seen in the college hallway, the guitarist was actually very sweet and honest - if a bit reserved at first glance. He spent a good amount of time telling Roger what a talented drummer he was, which made his stomach twist a little. But it was a good twist. A few people had already told him that before, but Brian explained _why_ he thought of him as such an amazing drummer. For example, he had never seen anyone tune their drums and he really admired Roger's drumming style. Hearing those words from Brian felt… different. He somehow felt more validated than if someone else had told him this. The conversation went from music to astrophysics to their personal lives. When they reached the point where Brian revealed he was single, Roger's heart skipped a beat. He wasn't in love with him, was he? No, there's no way he could crush on his new friend so fast and definitely no way Brian was gay. But nothing's impossible, right?

Many more events were to come, every single one of them only making Roger fall even harder for this shy curly haired boy. In those six years they'd been together, they went through thick and thin. He visited Brian every day in hospital when he had hepatitis and his surgery two months later. They were inseparable and supported each other in bad times, but of course they also made lots of great memories like having movie nights in their college years, sightseeing tours in every city they visited on tour - the list was endless long. His crush may not have been obvious to Brian, but Roger couldn't hide it from his other bandmates.

The one thing that bothered him was that Brian had gotten a girlfriend about half a year after they had become besties. At the beginning he was kinda okay with it because their relationship didn't seem serious at first, but then they moved in together and his hopes sunk drastically. He was jealous of Chrissie. She was a nice girl and he would have liked her if she wasn't in the place he wanted to be in. Why couldn't _he_ be the one sharing a cheap flat in a basement with him? Why couldn't _he_ be the happy boyfriend and cat dad? But there was still a tiny spark of hope left that maybe they'd break up so he could finally ask him out after so many years of pining.

Everything changed the day Brian came into the studio, happier than ever as he sat down on the sofa. "Guys, I'm gonna get married!" He announced cheerfully. John and Freddie immediately congratulated him, both of them keeping in mind how devastated Roger must have been, while the blonde just sat there, unable to move as he stared at the wall behind Brian. It took a lot of strength for him not to storm out the door and break down. Tears were stinging in his eyes and he thanked God they didn't fall just yet. _How could he?_ he thought. Fuck, he was so possessive! His best friend had gotten engaged and he was only thinking about himself when he should be happy for him!

"Rog? Are you okay?" Brian asked, snapping him out of his trance.

"Yeah, sorry." Roger smiled and stood up to hug the taller man. "Congrats bud."

"Thanks. Oh, and I wanted to ask you something," Brian added, pulling away but keeping his hands on Roger's elbows. "You know you're my best friend, right?"

 _Best friend…_ "I'd like you to be my best man," he blurted out.

Roger was frozen for a moment before he quickly nodded, incapable of finding the right words. The sound of that sent a stinging pain into his chest and he was sure he could feel his heart breaking into a million pieces. "I'd feel honoured," he croaked, knowing he wouldn't be able to hold back the tears any longer.

"Thank you, Rog. It would really mean a lot to me."

The wedding itself was horrible - for Roger, at least. He still couldn't believe this was actually happening. He was the fucking best man at the love of his life's wedding! Why did he agree to do this, and more importantly, how did he even manage to write his speech? He only wanted Brian to be happy and he truly felt honoured to be his best man, but not under these circumstances. He had to admit that he was about to object to the marriage during the ceremony, but he couldn't do this to them - he couldn't do this to _Brian_ and their friendship. God, he was so selfish...

The weekend after the wedding Roger got an idea - a bad idea maybe, but he couldn't keep it to himself anymore. He just had to tell Brian how he felt, even if it meant getting rejected. Sure, it would hurt as hell, but at least he'd get it off his chest. He picked up the phone and dialed Brian's number. Thankfully, Brian answered the call, not Chrissie. "Hey Bri. Wanna grab coffee with me?" It was a bit difficult to hide the nervousness in his voice, but Brian probably didn't mind.

"Yeah, in twenty minutes?"

"Okay, see you." When he hung up, Roger regretted doing this for a hot second. It was only a short walk from his flat to the café they always went to. He didn't really know what he was going to say and he was scared of Brian's reaction. He had never been violent, but words could hurt just as much and while he didn't want to lose their friendship, he needed Brian to know how he really felt about him. Shortly after he found a free table and ordered a coffee with milk and sugar for him and black coffee for Brian, the latter arrived. "Hi Rog! You wanted to see me?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Do we want to get our drinks first?"

"I already ordered."

Brian smiled and sat opposite Roger. "Thanks. What is it you wanted to talk about?"

The blonde bit the inside of his cheek. "Promise to listen to me till I'm finished?"

The taller man nodded slowly, curious and worried where this conversation would go. "Promise."

Roger was so focused on not fucking up, he didn't notice the waitress serving their drinks. "You know we've been best friends for a couple of years… That's what we are, right?"

Brian nodded again, raising an eyebrow. The younger man glanced up and then looked back down at his folded hands on the table, avoiding eye contact.

"Well, over the years- no, not really…" He took a deep breath. "I-I know it's wrong and I'm probably ruining our friendship with this, but I've been thinking about you as- as more than a friend… For six years now, actually... That's why I reacted this way when you announced your engagement. A-and I guess I wanted to apologize too… for being so distant lately. I've just been struggling with this a lot, especially since you and Chrissie started dating… I know you love her and I don't want to lose you, but I really needed to get this off my chest. And I don't blame you for anything. It's entirely my fault." There was a pause before he continued speaking. "I just thought you should know how I feel."

Brian finished his coffee before slamming the cup on the table. "Why are you telling me this _now_ , Rog?"

Roger blinked, nervously fiddling with his watch. "Because it's eating me up inside. Every time I'm around you I go crazy and I can't help it. It actually _hurts_ me, Brian-" His voice was shaky with tears he was desperately trying to suppress.

"Jesus…" Brian ran a hand through his hair in distress. "You've seriously kept this to yourself for six years? And _now_ when I've been married for less than a week, you decide to tell me?"

"I love you, Bri," he whispered, his voice cracking at Brian's name. He knew it didn't change anything now, but he had to finally say those words out loud, even if they broke him even more.

"You had six years to tell me," Brian sighed, shaking his head. "It's too late, Rog. I'm sorry."

"Yeah." Roger wiped his eyes, which was useless because the tears wouldn't stop falling. With shaky hands, he grabbed his cup and took a sip of his coffee. "I'm sorry too."

There was no "don't be sorry" or "it's okay". No, this time Brian just sat there for a couple of minutes, trying to process all the information as he watched his best friend cry and drink his coffee until he cleared his throat.

"I think I should leave you alone now." With that, he stood up and instead of leaving, wrapped his arms around Roger, who hadn't expected that at all. He was hesitant to hug him back after all that had happened in the last fifteen minutes, but it seemed like Brian was only waiting for him to return it. He patted the blonde's back. "I love you, but not like that."


End file.
